Late Night Listings 💋 No. 1 Night Clothes
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🎀🐇🍓No. 1 Night Clothes 🎀🐇🍓
TONIGHT'S LISTING: VICTORIA'S SECRET GOLD LABEL SLEEPWEAR AND LINGERIE search terms: vintage+victoria's+secret+gold+label
The thrift stores are full of failed—if not once beloved—brands. Victoria Secret's Gold Label is no exception. Any romantic person in my world who grew up in the 90s and aughties is likely to hold distinctive memories of the Victoria's Secret catalog and its Rated PG offerings. Look back in time, past VS's recent flop era, moral and financial bankruptcy, and you will find high quality sleep and sexy garments made in silks, satins, and an array of Clinton-era foreign policy polyester blends.
The one time I got yoked into a call for models at age eight (so wrong?), I was deemed categorically catalogue. Well if I'm catalog honey then let it be the 1990s-era Victoria's Secret spread that your best friend's brother hid under their bed and heteronormy businessmen snuck them into their office drawers. Bring that catalog fantasy to life, baby! You could splurge on this vintage Gaultier-bra, which is museum worthy at $250. But this deadstock 1990s VICTORIA'S SECRET GOLD LABEL bra is only $28! This one is $35!
There's no suitable word for what "lingerie" encompasses as a concept and a term. The term "gusset" bums me out, "panties" has a short vowel that makes me wince; a floral "chemise" is a little better, but this isn't the point! How about a classic black lace "teddy" or worse, a "romper" — why? In my mind, the person who says "making whoopie" is the same person that says "lingerie." I hear it in Fran Drescher's voice, which of course I love, but it isn't the phrase I want my night clothes to whisper. I once had one like this secretly shipped to a man's house in the dead of winter and he responded with, "I don't think this will fit me." Touché, Mr. He's Got Jokes!
Gold Label relics come in a color palette I call smooth jazz jewel tones: we're talking burgundy disguised as fuchsia, matching separates in wifey whites and smokescreen cream in matte satin, sapphire blue, champagne and crimson sleepshirts, lace and bodycon looks with scarlet teddies in racy 80s and lipstick red, here’s a jade green baby doll onesie, emerald tap pants, luxurious purples, and a slew of outrageous and LOUD robes that could distract even the most focused spy should you be conscripted to dazzle them in the bedroom or while answering the door. Shop the endless night clothes list here.
Seduction is a production
Pair your Vicky’s Secret night clothes with:
❤️🔥 Match with inexpensive costume cocktail earrings. Soft! Inexpensive! And if they fly off and you lose them at somebody's house 1. no loss at all! 2. a reason to go back and retrieve it 😈 (the oldest trick in the book!). Listen, as a woman who lost her favorite pair of cheap earrings at a Very Bad Dude's house, there is only so much risk I can continue to take in these times. I refuse to lose an item of value on a second date!
Sundries & Stationary
I like these heart shaped pimple patches and Dior Nail Glow, good in a pinch or for in between manicures, lockdowns and quarantines, when you're devoid of vitamin d but you still wanna look healthy. Then pen a lil love note with Goodbye Press’s Fantasy Postcard Collection by Ben Marcus et al. I like this weird ‘70s card that doesn’t make a lot of sense. Here’s a few for your favorite creep or a beloved boring couple. Gift a horny prismatic sticker to your most loyal side-piece. Spectrum Boutique offers a list of sexcellent toys for under $30.
Ambiance on a dime
Light Somebody's Fire:
Reach out and light somebody's cigarette; it's sexy. Borrow my go-to line: "Could I trouble you for a cigarette?" It takes people off guard and its polite as fuck and then they get to say "Why it’s no trouble at all" like you’re a handsome stranger in an old film and they get to feel like they did you some HUGE favor by sharing a cig. So make the world a better place and give someone a light! Joints are better but live your life!
❤️🔥 Heart-shaped lighters and 70’s cigarette cases in celluloid, brass, and silver for mints, condoms, calling cards, joints, and cigarettes (I guess!). Check out this “giant swank” Japanese Lighter that’s giving me BDE already. This one features the Taj Mahal. Table lighters like this art deco red knight chess lighter or this blue one that doubles as a weapon. Lots (literally) of original Incense Company scent matchbooks. More scentual pleasures: Poetic Car Fresheners from scent angel Marissa Zappas ft. words by Gideon Jacobs.
On the table:
❤️🔥 Pour Chartreuse into a Jefferson cocktail chalice or pick up a Midcentury set or maybe you need a singular Chateau-style goblet (for dranks, or joints or cigs or candy, condoms, covid tests, etc duh). Original boob mugs for the morning after. Nearby, old issues of Playboy next to Cannastyle’s heart shaped glass pipe (otherwise known as a b*ng), tall pink tapered dinner candles, rainbow twisted chime candles poured in bees wax so you won’t ruin your wall with smoke, and this gorgeous blush lead crystal centerpiece candle holder, that also doubles as a weapon.
On the jukebox:
❤️🔥 The Cranberries, You and Me; ❤️🔥 Japanese Breakfast covering Yoko Ono’s Nobody Sees Me Like You Do; ❤️🔥 Tia Blake, Wish I Was a Single Girl Again; ❤️🔥 Lil Nas X singin’ Jolene; ❤️🔥 Every playlist on Windmills of Your Mind brought to you by Taylor Rowley ❤️🔥 Evan picked the outro: Gloria Ann Taylor, Love Is a Hurtin’ Thing (12” Version). Take us away Evan,
“Let’s dance.” —Evan Walsh ❤️🔥
Calling all Late Nighters! Are you a small business owner, purveyor of wares, or a chic individual? We'd love to feature you. Send links to your offerings and we'll get you on the schedule. Obsessed with a weird product? Write us! ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥